A Blessed Mess Blog

Wow, what a difference a week or so can make.  I've worked so hard to stay positive and have positive, upbeat entries.  However, this one will be nothing of the sort.  The past few days have been some of the darkest, hardest days I've dealt with.  What is sickening is that my trouble is not from the loss of a love one or devastating news.  It simply is because of the job I've been in for the past almost 13 years.  Many of my posts reflect my woes with my job and time to time I'll have a post where I'm doing great, being positive, and things are just rolling along.  I've had some errors come back on me in the last few weeks that I've struggled with, but all the while I was thinking I had it under control.  This week I've lost that control.  You know, I've struggled with bouts of depression all my life and have managed to overcome them either with the help of antidepressants, therapy, or just prayer.  This time, however, I'm deeper than I'...

It seems like its been a week, but in reality we've only been here at Arkansas Childrens Hospital 2-1/2 days.  We found ourselves here when Ruthie Belle couldnt hold ANYTHING down and got dangerously dehydrated.  By the time we reached the ER here she had ketones in her urine, had ketones on her breath, had lost an entire pound in 24 hours since her visit at Primecare the night before, and was refusing to talk because her throat hurt from diagnosed Strep.  She was also refusing to swallow her secretions, therefore refusing any further attempts at taking in any liquids.  She was one sick little girl.  She was lifeless in Travis's arms as we waited to be taken back to an ER bed.  There she received her IV and her infusion began.  Now 2-1/2 days later she is STILL receiving IV fluids.  She was dry.  Even her saliva was elastic like and tacky.  No oral intake at that point for over 24 hours, only 1 potty,  no #2 for 2 days since he...

So I've been trucking right along with work, right?  My attitude adjustment seemed to have made just the difference I was needing.  Things were going well, work was flowing, and I thought I'd achieved the change I was looking for, a change that took place right at my same job!  My supervisor had agreed to let me try a new work schedule where I could work early hours 2 days a week and start at 8:00 am Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  I was stoked!  At the same exact time my company began working with a completely new platform that was actually pretty awesome.  It sped up productivity and had lots of neat features that helped me get better line counts.  And, like I had told my supervisor, having to work while my kids were getting ready to school was not efficient and my stats showed me to be "inactive" over 30% of the time I was supposed to be working.  Within the first 2 weeks of my new schedule I had whooped that down to a super-duper 8.8%! ...